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theyreoutofcontrol:

Interviewer: “so where do you see yourself in five years?”
Me: “I’m shaking hands with Dumbledore I’ve won the house cup”

person: i hate cats
me: what the fuck

fruitcrocs:

when a teacher asks you if you understand the work and you don’t 

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*gets 0 on the test*

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lion:

sidechick: did u see the pic?

me: what pic?

sidechick: the one of us I put on insta

me: image

iraffiruse:

The potatoes have escaped

marauders4evr:

The Harry Potter movies added many scenes that I disagree with.

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This is not one of them.

phatticuss:

cumcream:

cumcream:

What did the cat say to the dog?

cats don’t talk

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TOP 20 TV SHIPS (as voted by my followers)
17. Meredith and Derek (Grey’s Anatomy)
"I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to build us a house. I want to settle down and grow old with you. I want to die when I’m 110 years old, in your arms. I don’t want 48 uninterrupted hours. I want a lifetime."

loveable-elsanna:

hiccupofcoffee:

Guys

Guys

Have you ever noticed the ‘Love is an Open Door’ battle on YT where people sing the song from frozen??
Watch this

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but these guys where lip syncing so ppl got pissed and then 

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but it gets better

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much better

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hahahaha silly youtubers

'Neil also has a joke where, when the gang's eating take-out, Barney can never get the food to his mouth while eating with chopsticks…'

—craig thomas

(quote)(video)

w is not a vowel
every message in my inbox for the next 16 years (via corporateaccount)

corporateaccount:

corporateaccount:

iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels

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brused:

cassbones:

inspookableassghosts:

you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how math works

hey that means charity will also get unlimited money so I’m game

so both charity and I get unlimited money, sounds like a win win situation.

brused:

cassbones:

inspookableassghosts:

you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how math works

hey that means charity will also get unlimited money so I’m game

so both charity and I get unlimited money, sounds like a win win situation.